


Breaking Ties

by Spot_On60



Series: Ties That Bind [2]
Category: Suits (TV), Suits Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 20:45:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spot_On60/pseuds/Spot_On60
Summary: Harvey and Mike have some difficult conversations.





	Breaking Ties

"Paula, this isn't working out." He said it earnestly and gently. He spoke it as he felt it, with great regret.

She had been looking up to him, a half smile on her face, but with those words spoken she sharply pulled her head back. No slow realization. She transformed before him from open to shut off. "Do I even need to ask if there is someone else?"

"There is someone else. But Paula...."

"There's no need to continue, Harvey. I only wish I hadn't been the one you used as a catalyst to press forward. I could have done without that."

"Paula...."

"I am a bit confused, however. From our sessions I never had the impression you considered Donna for this type of relationship. She was never presented as 'the one'," she emphasized with air quotes.

"Paula, please. Let me..."

But she plowed over his words. "Sure, you weren't able to handle her going to work for Louis. But it wasn't because you were in love with her, instead it was because of your abandonment issues. You can't handle loss. Period. Not just of Donna, but of anyone. How did you ever manage when that young man went off to prison? Being inordinately fond of him as you are."

"Paula," he tried again a bit more forcefully.

But she wouldn't be dissuaded from completing her train of thought. "Of course when Donna stopped by, it was as plain as the nose on your face. Whilst you consider her yours, more as a possession, she considers you hers, but more like a child." Pure curiosity slipped into her voice, "Did you know that, Harvey?"

Harvey's head was spinning. He of course needed to make it clear he wasn't leaving for Donna. He also knew he had made a tactile error. Letting her cut him off without any effort was a symptom of a fundamental flaw in their relationship. This had gone so far off the tracks, where to begin responding was proving a challenge, that is until one thing pushed and shoved its way to the forefront.

"What do mean when Donna stopped by?"

"Why when she stopped by my office, of course. It was while you were still my patient. She was worried about you, Harvey. In her motherly way. She sees you not as someone to care for, but as someone to be taken care of. That _is_ what you've been looking for all along, isn't it Harvey? Someone who will mother and nurture you the way your own mother never did. Don't deny it. You know I'm right."

He was this close to saying aloud that, yes, she was indeed right. As he opened his mouth to say just that Mike's voice came through this fog of sensory and emotional overload, " _manipulative_."

He tucked his chin in, barely turned and tilted his head, hardened his mouth. Arrogant Harvey was trying to break free. He held him at bay with considerable effort. He looked up and off past her side in typical Harvey style, "Are you finished?" Returning his eyes to hers he added, "May I say something now?"

She flipped a hand upward in a 'be my guest' gesture.

"The first night we went out for dinner. Do you remember?"

"Of course I remember. It wasn't that long ago, after all. Besides, how could I forget your wanting to turn our first evening together into just another counseling session?"

"There it is. Right there." He nodded his head down to the two sentences, punctuating them. "While I was comfortable talking about the issues I had been facing as I would with anyone else I trusted, and let me tell you those ranks are pretty sparse, you turned it around to it being a 'session' when it wasn't that at all. It was a 'how was your day' conversation. Apparently with my job being as stressful as it is, with as many issues and problems that arise, you're of the opinion I somehow don't qualify for friends and family ear-lending.

"No. Instead, you cut me off and shielded yourself from what I consider an important role both parties play in a relationship. Being a sounding board. Yet your argument was so persuasive I found myself apologizing for being open."

She took in a breath preparing to speak, but now was his time. "You set a ground rule that night. I was to keep my problems to myself unless I wanted to be analyzed and treated to a session. Then you set into analyzing my motives all the way down to me changing my mind about which tie I wanted to wear one morning."

"You're saying this is my doing?! I won't accept that."

He reined it in. He really didn't want to argue with her. "Paula, you're beautiful, intelligent, giving and kind. You were also right. We never should have started this. We should have kept it on a professional basis. It's not only you, it's me too. And frankly there's really not much wrong with either of us. We just aren't meshing."

"If that's what you want to believe, that is fine. If that relieves you, good. I can't force you to take responsibility when you clearly are still not ready to."

"And there it is again. Analyzing me."

"Analytical abilities have nothing to do with it. You're an open book, Harvey. You want someone who adores you. Someone who pines for you. Someone to boost that ever so fragile ego of yours. You don't want someone who challenges you. Maybe someone who does superficially, but not anyone who firmly stands their ground to you."

"Paula, you're wrong on that one."

"Tell yourself whatever you _want_ to hear. But I won't do it. I will never back down from telling you what you _need_ to hear." She paused, gaze down, shaking her head. "I truly hope you and Donna are happy." Returning her gaze up, "I truly hope you treat her with care. She loves you, Harvey. You shouldn't take it lightly."

"You know I love Donna too. And you just said you know it's not romantic on my part. I _will_ treat her with care. I will be as careful as I can be when I tell her the two of us can never be. I will be as gentle as possible when I tell her I've made a commitment elsewhere."

"What? What do you mean elsewhere? If you've suddenly changed your mind, rest assured I'm no longer..."

"I truly am sorry this didn't work out." He motioned his fingers between them. "Goodbye, Paula."

She grabbed his coat sleeve as he turned to go, spinning him back to face her, "You don't get to walk away like that! You do not get to drop something like that and then just be on your way."

Harvey only looked at her. He honestly didn't want to hurt her.

"You drop some unknown woman out of the blue and then think it's alright to just exit?" She punched out the last word.

He took hold of her hand, easing it away from his sleeve to capture it in both of his palms. "He's not a woman and he's not new," he said evenly yet firmly. Letting go her hand he turned and walked away.

Her hand remained up for a few seconds where he had left it. Lowering it she studied it, hoping for enlightenment. When none was found there she peered around her surroundings. She caught the retreating frame of Harvey's shoulders and wondered how long she had been standing there, he was so far in the distance. Clasping both hands on the strap of her shoulder bag she turned in the opposite direction of Harvey's departure. Feeling somewhat dazed she headed toward her office.

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~¥¥¥¥~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

"Donna? May I take you out for lunch? We need to talk."

"I don't know Harvey. Am I going to like what you have to say?"

"Probably not, but I'm hoping you accept it."

She tightened her lips, stiffly working her head until it felt to be in just the right position. "What time?"

"It's going on one. How's now for you?"

"Yeah, Harvey. Now is good. Meet you at the elevator in ten?"

"I'll let Louis know we're both going out."

Harvey was milling about before Donna approached.

"Anything I can get for you, Mr. Specter?" It was one of the receptionists.

"No. I'm good. Thank you Molly. Ms. Paulsen and I will be out for at least an hour. Possibly more.

"Yes Mr. Specter. Shall I forward calls?"

"Sure. No. Don't. If it can't wait direct them to Mr. Litt."

She nodded agreement as she answered a call.

He heard the clicking of high heels and spun to see Donna on her way. He reached for and depressed the call button looking back to smile at his old friend. Behind her he caught a glimpse of Mike whom he knew was on his way to talk with Rachel. Mike dipped his chin in a single nod.

"Who are you smiling at?" Donna asked looking over her shoulder.

"Hm? You. Well and Mike was walking by."

The elevator dinged and Harvey stepped aside allowing Donna to board ahead of him. They were on their way. It was a toss up as to who was more tense.

Whether it be Harvey or Donna there was never much of a wait for a table at any of the restaurants in the vicinity of the office. The two of them together? It could be argued they were seen coming a block away.

"A booth Mr. Specter?"

His attention went to Donna who acknowledged, yes a booth would be perfect. They followed the hostess with Harvey deferring until Donna was seated.

"It's been a long time since we've had lunch together," Donna noted. "In the last few years I think I've dined with Louis more than you and I ever have."

"One of us usually manned our part of the world while the other was out." He accepted a menu from their server. "Maybe now we can do it more often."

"Drinks?" asked the young man.

"Iced tea, please," Donna ordered.

"The same." Harvey was scanning the menu not actually paying attention. Their Chicken Piccata was well made and a trademark. It also took no thought on his part.

"So I'm not going to like this." Donna was talking while seemingly reading her menu.

"Let's get our order in first. Okay? Have you decided?"

"I'm going with the Chicken Piccata."

As if on cue their server returned. Harvey ordered two of the chicken, lemon and caper dishes quirking an eyebrow when the question of starters, salads or soup was brought up. Donna shook her head and Harvey declined to their waiter.

"That stuff'll kill ya," Harvey informed as he watched Donna empty a pink packet of sweetener into her tea.

"It seems to me it took massive amounts for it to even produce a tummy ache in a rat already suffering from irritable bowel syndrome."

Harvey smiled. He really did love this woman. He squeezed lemon into his own tea.

"So we're here for you to give me the grand brush off."

"That we are." God it sounded horrible, but Donna laughed so hard she snorted.

"Stop making this so easy." Harvey peered into his tea guiltily.

"What would you have me do Harvey?" She looked him in the eye. "Would you like me to order a cocktail so I can throw it in your face before floating effortlessly and proudly out of this establishment?" She then leaned forward conspiratorially and asked lowly, "How about I demonstrate the bitch-slap I used on Hardman?"

"Only if you promise to do it twice." He was smirking.

"No Harvey. That will always be mine and Daniel's: the double bitch-slap. It was a special moment I want to preserve in my memory. I don't care to dilute it with re-enactments."

Harvey was smiling that smile. The one he reserved for only a few people. "I've told you I love you. And this is why."

"Careful, Harvey. You're sending mixed messages."

"Yeah. Unfortunately I'm very good at that." He studied her as she stirred her tea. She moved her hair away from her eye with one finger then flattened the cloth napkin in her lap. He gave it one last consideration, but it only confirmed there was nothing there. So he began, "I've given this a lot of thought and it always comes to the same end. You're a dear friend. We've been through so much together. Don't get me wrong, there was a time I wanted to explore a different path for the two of us. But you know as well as I do it didn't happen. And now? I just don't ever see it happening? Not anymore.

"The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you, Donna. And that's what I would do. I would carry out a charade so as not to see you hurt now only to make it worse down the road. I maybe a son-of-a-bitch, but I'm not a cad."

Donna had steeled herself for the words, _I don't love you in_ that _way_ and kept waiting for them to come. When they didn't she realized she was unprepared for anything else.

Harvey wasn't lying to her. She knew him too well. Knew when he was hedging. Nothing of the kind was going on here. He was sincere and truly sorry he had to tell her what he just did. She knew by the words he _did_ use.

"I need something stronger than cold tea." She was holding her head high, but was lightly vibrating.

Harvey saw it and didn't wait to flag down their waiter. He instead hopped to it and made a bee line for the bar. Upon his return their meals had been served. He set the Cosmopolitan in front of Donna and the scotch alongside his own place setting before sitting.

"I hope you and Paula are able to pull off what we couldn't," she said holding her oversized martini glass aloft. When Harvey didn't lift his she added, "I am one hundred percent serious. I want you to be happy. It's important to me." She motioned her drink forward again.

Harvey lifted his drink off the table but did not salute with it. "I met with Paula this morning. We won't be seeing each other again."

Donna dropped her head a full three inches and blinked those lashes of hers at him. She snapped it shut when she became aware her mouth had popped open. "What?"

Harvey slow-blinked, grimaced and shrugged a shoulder.

The Cosmo floated back down to the table. "If you don't want me and you don't want her, who will take care of you Harvey?" She took a large gulp of her cocktail. "We need to find you a new secretary."

He mused to himself. Donna's main priority was to ensure he was taken care of. Paula had been absolutely on the mark. She is indeed very good at what she does.

He held up his tumbler. "Here's to new beginnings and my love for you, my friend and guardian."

Gracious as always Donna smiled, "To you as well, Harvey."

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~¥¥¥¥~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

"You didn't come home!" Rachel was feeling her strength. It was strength she had recently acquired. Though never a pushover, she hadn't until recently fully owned it. The accomplishment of law school and passing the bar had settled in as something solid within her. She no longer felt expressing her wants was an act. It no longer felt like bluster. It was real and it was empowering.

"Come on, Rachel. You didn't answer any of my calls, much less call me back." This was where Mike always got tripped up. He had the familiar feeling of not knowing what to do. Not knowing what had been expected of him.

"I didn't answer because you were suppose to be home," she explained firmly.

"How did I know that? Last thing you said to me was you didn't want to look at me. You wouldn't answer my calls so how was I suppose to know you didn't mind having me back in the same room?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You knew I wanted you home!" It ran through her mind he didn't usually fight back.

"Again, Rachel. How exactly did I know that?"

"Because if you loved me, you'd want to be with me."

"And if you loved me you wouldn't tell me to get out of your sight and then expect me to be a mind reader!"

"You know what, Mike? I seriously wonder if you're the man I thought you were!"

"Now we're getting somewhere."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"That I don't think you fell in love with me. The real me."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because you're always mad at me!" His arms went up in the air as if looking for guidance.

"Maybe if you weren't always in your own head and thought of how your actions effected others I wouldn't be."

"Don't you see, Rachel. That's me! It's just me. And because of it I feel like I'm always asking for your forgiveness. And forgiveness is getting harder and harder to come by."

"With the way you behave you may not always get forgiveness!"

"And without forgiveness what do I have, Rachel? Huh? What have I got?"

"I don't know, maybe a good reason to stop doing some of these things you do. Maybe you'll have that."

Mike had nothing. He could only shake his head.

Rachel read his silence as her having the upper hand, just like it always played out. Mike would fly off on these ill advised tangents and it was up to her to be the sensible one. For all his do-gooding Mike still needed someone to keep his morals and loyalties in check.

"It's not just me, Mike. It's Harvey too. You're taking advantage of him." She paused to ensure there was enough time for that to sink in. "I think we both know which of the two of us, me or Harvey, is more forgiving."

"Yes Rachel I know the answer to that. The question is, do you?"

This brought her up short. It finally hit her. She was having an argument not with the man who adored the ground she walked on, but instead with Harvey Specter's student. He was sure in everything he had just said, including Harvey's...Harvey's what? She couldn't put a finger on it. But Mike's unwavering certainty was a dead giveaway. He had already made a new plan. This conversation, no, this argument was to confirm the plan was the right one.

"What's happening here, Mike?"

"I'm on my way to pack up some things. I'm taking them to Harvey's."

"You're moving out?!"

"Yes. I need to decide where I want to be."

"You belong with me."

"Are you sure about that, Rachel?"

"Obviously you're not."

"No. I'm not."

"So because I didn't return your phone calls you're going to go pout at Harvey's. How long do you think he's going to go along with that?"

He only responded to the former. As for the latter, that conversation was going to wait for another day. This was a bit overwhelming as it was. "You know it's not about unreturned phone calls. It's about what's at the heart of us. It's about my feelings about it."

"What about my feelings? Don't they matter?"

"Of course they do. But Rachel, your feelings will always be centered around you. And..."

"Now you're saying I'm selfish?!"

"No! Not anymore than either of us are. You didn't let me finish. My feelings will always be centered around me too. Neither of us can help how we feel and it's our own feelings that guide us." He looked up, then left and right. _How appropriate_ , he thought. _This is the row of the file room where we first_...

"So you're going now so you won't have to face me tonight," she broke into his thoughts.

"That's not how I was looking at it. I just felt it would be best, easiest. I have an 8:30 docket in the morning. I need to sleep, not be up all night hammering this out."

"Hammering this out..."

She saw something in his face. It was something she couldn't identify. She was convinced whatever it was, it didn't bode well.

"I have to go. Ray's probably waiting outside."

"Ray? Harvey's driver? He's playing moving van for you?"

"I need to be back here this afternoon. We're putting things in the trunk of his car. I'll get them when he drives Harvey and I home tonight." He paused for only a few seconds. "I have to go, Rachel."

As he walked the corridor toward the elevators he thought of what he had just said about going to Harvey's. He smiled a little at the notion of he and Harvey not going to Harvey's place together, but rather going home together.

Rachel needed to compose herself for a few minutes. Her thoughts were a blur and the longer she stood there the more jumbled they became. She had her hand on the door when one thought in particular roamed to the front of her mind. Mike had said he and Harvey were going home.

Her lower lip quivered and she could feel her face settle to that puppy dog expression that came over her when she fought back tears. She reminded herself of her new found strength and drew on it. She took a deep breath and let it out. She decided he wouldn't be gone long. After all, Harvey has a new love interest.

Pulling the door open she was relieved to see the hallway blissfully lacking in pedestrian traffic. With her chin pointed high, she shook her hair along her back then made her way back to her office. What just transpired didn't change the amount of work she had on her desk.

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~¥¥¥¥~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

Mike's cell began playing Booker T & The MGs' [Green Onions](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c9y-n9B_XUM). "Hi Harvey."

"Where are you?"

"Only a few blocks away, but traffic's slow. You need me? Might get there faster if I get out and walk."

"I need you, but there's no hurry. We have tonight." He rolled his eyes at how corny he sounded to himself.

Mike smiled and thought it was rather sweet. "You okay? Everything go alright?"

"Donna was better than expected. Paula was much worse. How'd it go with Rachel?"

"She's mad at me."

"So yours went as expected."

Mike huffed an unhappy laugh, "Pretty much exactly as expected."

"What's on your plate this afternoon?"

"Corning. How about you?"

"I have billings to go over." Harvey grimaced at the stack piled in his in-box.

"I thought Louis did those."

"He does most of them. I only get a few."

"So you get the easy ones."

"Smart ass."

"That goes without saying, but am I right?"

"Yes," Harvey replied rather meekly.

"I'm gonna go. We're almost outside the building."

"Okay. Hey ask Ray if 7:00 is too late. If it is, ask him to stop by home and give your things to the doorman. We'll take a cab."

"Will do. See you tonight."

Mike sat smiling for a moment until Ray broke his reverie. "We're here. Everything okay, Mike?"

"Yeah, Ray. Everything's great." He grabbed his gloves off the seat and unhooked his belt. "Is 7:00 too late for you tonight?"

"No. That's fine. Wife has Mahjong at the neighbor's tonight."

"Good. See ya then."

Mike stepped out of the car and did something he couldn't remember doing since his first day at the firm. He stood on the sidewalk and looked up at the building. He took in it's architecture. The thought of so many important events in his life playing out here gave him pause. His mind easily slipped from this building to the suite at the Chilton and his first glimpse of Harvey. He shook his head and smiled. Who could have guessed what lay ahead?

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~¥¥¥¥~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

Harvey grunted as he stood leaning over his desk picking up the pile of billings.

"Need some help with those, Harvey?"

"No. I got it."

"Cuz if you do, I could call somebody."

Harvey huffed a laugh and grinned. If it had been anyone else he would have snarked. But not with Gretchen. She was a bit like Mike, a once in a lifetime find. He appreciated her brass tacks manor and her undeniable ability to keep Louis not only in line socially but also on track businesswise.

"What I need help with is filing." He glanced at his conference table, currently filled to overflowing with discarded file folders, law books and an assorted mishmash of papers, Post-its, legal pads and the odd bagel wrapper.

"We all know you have an eye for office help, Donna and myself being exceptional examples. Why don't you get yourself a new legal secretary?"

"When do you suppose I have time for that?"

"Too bad Opie moved up the ladder. We could have set him to filing. Looks like you need some help findin' that special someone."

Without thinking Harvey retorted, "I've got a special someone. What I need is a legal secretary." He settle back down at his desk the first pack of billings spread across the blotter he used for this. It kept him contained and was perfect for the occasional scribbling. His computer was signed-in to the firm's accounting software, and he had an iPad open to the calculator function.

"Something I can do for you, Gretchen?"

"I was bringing you these," she said in her easy drawl, waggling another stack of billables, "...but I don't believe in kicking a man when he's down." She shoved them under an arm. "Tell ya what. I'm gonna get a list of appropriate applicants ready. Should have it done by the end of the week. We can go from there. Sound good to you?"

"It sounds perfect to me. Thank you Gretchen."

He settled into the chore of reconciling billables. He would cruise along through several files before his mind would wander off to crystal blue eyes, firm handed embraces, stumbled kisses, easy banter, serious point on point and companionable quiet. He would smile to himself thinking of his assertion that he doesn't get lucky, he makes his own. "What an arrogant ass," he spoke quietly to himself. He knew he was damned lucky to have one Mike Ross in his life and made a pact with himself. He would be thankful for that luck and never take it for granted.

His phone rang out the Donny Osmond tune [Puppy Love](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UyXzwtIlZyg) and displayed Mike's cell number. "You little shit. When did you change the ringtone?"

Mike was laughing on the other end, "This morning while you were getting ready for work."

"So I'm going to have to start showering with my phone in the morning? Maybe we're rushing into things."

"You have two choices, hotshot. You can shower with your phone or you can shower with me."

"You always come up with the Hail Mary play, don't you?"

"You hired me for my quick mind din'cha? And by the way, I did it while you were agonizing over the perfect dimple in your tie."

Harvey was smiling. Leaning back in his chair he thought it didn't get much better than this.

Mike was speaking again, "It's 6:45. Ray's going to be here in fifteen minutes. You ready to go?"

"I can be in five minutes."

"Okay. I'll be at your office in a few. Been a long day. Ready to get out of here and go home."

Harvey honest to god felt a flush in his cheeks at Mike's easy use of the word home. "Yeah. Me too, Mike."

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~¥¥¥¥~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**Thank you for reading.**


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